To My Husband, John, I Dedicate My Eternal Love

by Jeanne
(Baltimore)

John:

As of this year we have been married twenty one years. Right before celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary last year, we went to a wedding vow renewal Mass at my alma mater, Loyola College. Over eighty alumni couples attended, yet as far as I was concerned, we were the only couple there.

I know you went, rather reluctantly, not because you didn't want to renew your vows with me, but because Loyola wasn't your favorite college. Yet we met there, fell in love while you worked there, and started our lives together there. How appropriate it was to return, and renew our vows in the Alumni Chapel!

Since that time, you've gotten more ill. The spinal stenosis has progressed to a point almost beyond surgical help. Plus, your pancreas continues to wreak havoc on your system. By renewing our vows last Valentine's Day, I've renewed my dedication to you.

I promised you, "for richer or poor, in sickness and health...". This is the part where sickness comes into being. You are aware I get frustrated at times, but it's not with you - it's with the doctors who play telephone tag, and won't call my cell number to discuss things with me.

I know you are frightened, and scared of dying. In part, your age - soon to be 79. Yet I knew you were 23 years my senior when we met, when we first made love, and when our daughter was born, then eight years later, our son.

You were always afraid you wouldn't be around to see them grow up. Yet our son is turning 19 tomorrow - and our daughter is nearly 27! You have two beautiful grandchildren from your oldest son. You've hung around longer than you expected - being the oldest of four siblings, and now, the only one left.


I dedicate to you my life, that yours be as long as you desire. You'll know when you are ready to let go. Now is obviously not the time. When one is ready, fear of death disappears, and instead, it is a welcoming of God's open arms. In the meantime, you are alive, and I am here, and I will sustain your life with mine as long as I am capable of doing so, until you are ready for me to also let go.

I also dedicate to you our time together - that you carry it with you always, and feel the love that is there, and always was there. Out of all the men in my life, you were the object of my love. And someday, when we unite in Heaven, we'll dedicate our love, and our guardian Angels, to our children and grandchildren, that they might experience the same love, the same giving, that we have. You would do anything for me, and I, for you.

Always, my love is dedicated to you - my husband - John.